he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
