we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
