She's JV to your varsity
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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