you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
