I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I party with great urgency now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
