Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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