Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
