i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
now i know why i became what i already was.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
