Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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