i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
