Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
