youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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