just come out here and I will go home with you...
I will die if light touches me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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