belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
