I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
so much tequila, so little girl.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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