if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
someone owes me an orgasm
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
