Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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