I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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