Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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