I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
