No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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