Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
