a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
