I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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