cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
