now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
