airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
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