I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
