I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
