I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
