Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
