Dual....:-)
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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