I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
