office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
