Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
