I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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