That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
