Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
