I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
