why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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