do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
