The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
