Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
