I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
