Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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