I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How external is "for external use only"?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
