then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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