Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
