So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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