I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
