the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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